Garden Tractor Forums banner
281 - 300 of 360 Posts

· Registered
2,601 Posts
466. When you head to a plow day with two tractors loaded on the trailer, and return home with four.

467. When you go to an auction with $300.00 in your pocket, and come home with $800.00 worth of tractors and attachments.

468. When you have to get a picture of an empty yard blown up to the size of your kitchen window, then glue it fast to your window sash, just so your wife doesn't have to look at your tractor collection sitting outside in the garden.

469. You know more people on a website than you do in your neighborhood.

470. You send your wife shopping just so you can call up your buddy to seal the deal on your newest tractor investment.

· Registered
370 Posts
475. Before you go on vacation with the fam, you check local listings, plan to take an empty trailer and a wad of cash. You use up more gas by taking the truck, but then you come home with a new toy :)

476. Your a glass half full kinda guy when you notice a tractor in the background of a local add for a used car and make an offer on the tractor instead.

· Member
1,820 Posts
When you stand out in a frozen parking lot to talk tractors. And try to leave 5 times, but stay until all the rest are froze out.
Good one. I haven't read them all so this might be a repeat: You might be addicted if you go to a tractor show when it's 10°f in January (Susquehanna Field Days swap meet)
  • Like
Reactions: johndeereelfman

· Registered
2,601 Posts
Oh, like you wouldn't go if there was a low numbered RF there to look at...
Now Alan, that's a whole different ballgame there. I'd be like the Post Office if that were the case. I'd go in rain, sleet, freezing rain and snow just for a chance at that. That's what they make insulated underwear for! :thumbs:

· Registered
2,601 Posts
481. You'll get mad and tailgate a slow moving tractor-trailer truck, but will give plenty of room between you and the slow moving guy in front of you hauling tractors, just so you can check out his collection.

482. You won't settle for anything but original.

483. You complain about the next door neighbor kids loud car muffler waking you up in the middle night, but think revving your tractor without a muffler sounds pretty cool, no matter what time of day it is.

484. You recently posted an add on Craigslist looking to see if anybody close by has storage space available, since your wife said no to the tractor that you just found, because you are out of room.

485. You don't mind visiting your in-laws anymore, because they have a couple of your tractors stored in their garage.

486. You were just admitted to the Emergency room due to having a panic attack, because your in-laws just told you they checked themselves into a retirement home, and the tractors will have to find a new home.

487. You secretly dipped into your 401K account to buy a brand new enclosed trailer for your hauling purposes, and after your wife found out, you quickly found out that "you" will be using the trailer as a motor home.

488. When going through the inventory of parts and pieces for your tractors, your favorite words seem to be: "I didn't know I had this."

489. When you can't work on tractors, you go to bed because nothing else that you could be doing, seems to be as fun or worth the effort.

490. If you hear the sound of a tractor on the show that your wife is watching on television, you'll practically break your neck to get into the room fast enough, just so you can see what brand and model it is.

· Registered
2,601 Posts
491. You have a larger assortment of lubricants, fuel and oil treatments, and cleaners than your local hardware store.

492. You know of every gas station within a ten mile radius that sells diesel fuel and is open on Sundays.

493. Every room in your house contains at least one item that was repaired with JB Weld.

494. Your pillow looks a lot darker in the morning.

495. You visit the local farm the buy your child a cat, but all your child cares about is driving the farmers tractor.

496. Your 7 year old son calls the Krispy Cream doughnuts, tractor tires with Armorall.

497. You hope to personally meet all of the members that are reading or replying to this thread.

498. You can tell your passengers everything about the junk pile you just past, going 70 miles per hour.

499. Your tractors are older than you, and run better.

500. You go to local real estate sales, just so you can have a chance to look in the barns to see what goodies may be hiding in the corners.

501. You watch TV or movies with your wife, but pay more attention to the farm equipment than you do to the story plot.

502. You subscribe to the local newspaper, only for the want or for sale adds.

503. You purposely leave the tin can on the muffler when you start the tractor, just to see if you can catch it.

504. You can make a fan belt or drive belt out of the belt around your waist.

505. You find yourself explaining the functional improvements provided by what others perceive as bailing wire and scrap metal.

506. The maximum RPM on your tractor is lower than the idle speed of your trucks engine.

507. Although there is a key switch, hand cranking always seems to be the normal way of starting your engine.

508. You know how to read all of those funny letters on the cast iron pieces.

509. You know the difference between a stationary engine and a tractor.

510. Your trash cans are fitted to mount up to your tractors 3pt hitch, and are stored less than 10 feet from the street.

511. Nobody has ever heard of the dealership that is printed on the decal of your tractor.

512. Some days you talk to your tractor more than your wife.

513. You know just where to hit your carb bowl so the float stops sticking.

514. Over half of your wife's nick-nack shelf in the living room contains your toy tractors.

515. When showing someone your tractor, the first thing out of your mouth is, "Yes, it runs."

516. You find yourself saying, "Come on baby, you can do it" to a piece of worn out cast iron.

517. It feels good to just stand in the garage and listen to your tractor run.

518. You mow your yard with wrenches in your pocket, just in case.

519. You stay up late at night, downloading pictures of tractors.

520. You know your tractor is old, when you buy parts for it from the dealership, and the first thing they do is shake the mouse nest out of it.

521. You have to make all of your own gaskets.

522. No dealership ever selling your particular parts or tractor brand, are in business anymore.

523. At the local dealership, the parts man asks for make and model, and you find that the parts isn't even listed anymore.

524. You can paint your tractor the wrong color, and no one knows it's wrong.

525. You look for parts that you haven't been able to identify yourself yet.

526. Tractor Supply has a rubber stamp with your signature, just to make things faster for you while making out a check.

527. You tried using a rear mounted bush hog to mow your lawn, but quickly realized you have too many lawn ornaments to mow around.

528. You own at least a dozen 12 volt batteries.

529. You were surprised to find out that the word "pull" had something to do with skeet shooting.

530. You begin to ask your dealership, "Do you have...." and after quickly realizing who you are, they immediately say "No".

531. You walk into your local dealership, and suddenly all of the parts employees become frantic to find something else to do.

532. When going away with your wife, she always wants to drive because you are more focused on looking in backyards than you are the road.

533. Every large rock in your yard has been tested for movability.

534. You have a 1 acre garden.

535. You removed some of your wife's favorite artwork to hang your tin tractor sign.

536. The next parade has you scrambling to find enough drivers for all of your tractors.

537. Penetrating oil discussion are known as politics.

538. You get more GTtalk PM's than you do work emails.

539. With a look, smell, feel, and sometimes taste, you can tell the difference between gasoline, kerosene, diesel fuel, motor oil, hydraulic fluid, gear oil, grease, and radiator coolant.

540. You borrowed your neighbors battery charger so many times, that he eventually just went out and bought another one.

541. You love your tractors as much as your wife and kids. Not more than, but just as much!

542. You visit during work hours, forgetting that if you get caught, you take a chance of loosing your tool and parts funding.

543. You double check your calendar to make sure your son or daughter isn't planning their wedding on the same date of a tractor show.

544. You don't share with your wife the total cost of your latest restoration.

545. You think your wife needs a floor jack and a pair of jack stands for Christmas this year.

· Registered
841 Posts
This is some funny stuff - and it just so happens that I just built a shed so I could get the excess stuff out of the garage to make room for my tractor. :D

Plant Property Nature Tree Land lot

I might just be catching something.


  • Like
Reactions: johndeereelfman

· DR. Bolens
18,858 Posts
Sort of a spin off of #543 but here it goes


Each calendar year you make a laminated print out to hand to your family members at the annual Christmas gathering to let them know of all the shows you'll be attending and any special tractor gatherings or auctions you plan on attending the upcoming year so they can plan their family reunions , birthdays, graduations ect.

If they plan on inviting you to them :D

· Registered
841 Posts
#549 Your tractor names itself , and makes you play along .

· Registered
1,556 Posts
But i got an addiction... not to any drugs or anything. But something that burns more time and money. It is called Garden tractors. And I have some ways to tell if u got the bug. And be sure to add ur own.

1. every time u see a gt u get all excited
2. if ur wife said it is either her or the tractors and u pick the tractors
3. u start caring 100 dollar bills around with u. Just in case
4. u spend more than 2 hours a day on Gttalk
5. u will do anything for free as long as u can take ur tractor.

anything else guys
definetly! ihave 10 already and my mom gets angry when i bring more!
281 - 300 of 360 Posts