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Tractor Whisperer
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1,473 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Good morning Tractor people......hope everyone is ready for a nice weekend after a long work week, I know I am. I have a few things I'm eager to get done on the Sears project so here's to everyone enjoying there weekend, doing it safely, and gettin on those projects!! :beerchug:

Colorfulness Rectangle Font Slope Magenta
Botany Sleeve Organism Font Magenta
Hair Nose Face Cheek Jaw


Here is a list that I feel should be framed in every house, (my fiance even thought it was funny)....

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
 

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Accumulator
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13,481 Posts
Those are great. :thumbs:
 

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Super Moderator
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54,818 Posts
Thanks! I needed that!
 
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Old Tractor Addict
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1,846 Posts
Thanks, those were all pretty good :thumbs: . I especially liked the color chart, I may try to print that off to use in my defense. I have said for years that some of those weirdly named colors DO NOT actually exist, they are only a concept. Course being color blind, predominantly red/green, I have trouble with anything past black and white, and have had to defend myself all my life.
 

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Registered
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10,157 Posts
Thanks they were all good and had alot of truth to them.

I especially like the color chart because I am red-green color blind. I cannot reliably tell red from green from gray from brown. I turns out about 30% of males have this to some extent. In my case it has an advantage because I have great night vision. This paid off big time on night patrols in the Army 40 years ago.
 

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Tractorholic
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1,435 Posts
The snow shovel made me bust up laughing, even my wife got a good kick out of that one :thumbs:
 

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Freedom is not Free. Thank those in uniform for yo
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8,677 Posts
Thanks they were all good and had alot of truth to them.

I especially like the color chart because I am red-green color blind. I cannot reliably tell red from green from gray from brown. I turns out about 30% of males have this to some extent. In my case it has an advantage because I have great night vision. This paid off big time on night patrols in the Army 40 years ago.
Hmm! Red is hot wire and green is ground = :firejumper: :eek:h_shucks: :poke: :bigrofl:
 
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