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A conversation between 2 imaginery people on the phone:

Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
I'm Watt.
What's your name?
Watt's my name!
Yes, what's your name!?
My name is John Watt!
John what???
Yes. Are you Jones?
No. I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name then?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott!!
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!!!
What???
 

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Mechanic vs. heart surgeon ... similar jobs?
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the

mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag, and asked, "So, Doc, look at this engine.

I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing

basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic,

"Try doing it with the engine running."
 

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Penguin goes to the mechanic
A penguin is driving on the highway on the way to a conference when his car breaks down. He calls a tow truck who brings he and his car to a mechanic in a little nearby town. The mechanic says to the penguin “We’ll give you a call when we figure it out. Feel free to go walk around town in the meantime”. So the penguin goes walking around town and then grabs some ice cream before the mechanic calls him to come back to the shop. “Well” says the mechanic, “it looks like you blew a seal”. The penguin looks at the mechanic, touches his face and says “no, that’s just ice cream.”
 

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A Little Off Plumb
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Received a report that there is a new strain of the West Nile Virus -

We are still battling the COVID-19 and the next thing is here already. Virologists have identified a new Nile virus - type C. It appears to target those who were born between 1930 & 1970.

Symptoms: Causes you
1. To send the same email message twice.
2. To send a blank message.
3. To send a message to the wrong person.
4. To send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. To forget to attach the attachment.
6. To hit SEND before you've finished.
7. To hit DELETE instead of SEND.
8. To SEND when you should DELETE.
It is called the C-NILE virus!
And if you cannot admit to doing the above, you have obviously caught the mutated strain — the D-NILE virus.

It appears I caught the type C as I have suffered from most of the symptoms lately - hope they come out with a vaccine for it soon.
 

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2,657 Posts
Received a report that there is a new strain of the West Nile Virus -

We are still battling the COVID-19 and the next thing is here already. Virologists have identified a new Nile virus - type C. It appears to target those who were born between 1930 & 1970.

Symptoms: Causes you
1. To send the same email message twice.
2. To send a blank message.
3. To send a message to the wrong person.
4. To send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. To forget to attach the attachment.
6. To hit SEND before you've finished.
7. To hit DELETE instead of SEND.
8. To SEND when you should DELETE.
It is called the C-NILE virus!
And if you cannot admit to doing the above, you have obviously caught the mutated strain — the D-NILE virus.

It appears I caught the type C as I have suffered from most of the symptoms lately - hope they come out with a vaccine for it soon.
I'm doomed
How many days I have left.????? 😵
 

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Copy and paste from another forum but funny none the less..

Called in a refill for my Viagra, I am getting older you know. Pulled in to the local CVS and walked back to the counter. Told the young lady, about 30-35 years old, my name and that I had a call in. She retrieved the package and walked back to the counter looking at the tag stapled to it. The conversation went as below.

"Mr. ####, you do know that this is not covered under your insurance?"

"Yes ma'am, I do know that."

"Well I wanted to be sure you knew before I rang in up. It is $208 for six pills."

So I explained. "I know it seems like a lot but those are 100mg pills and I only need 25mg. So I break the six in half twice and that gives me 24."

"Okay, that is good," was the reply.

"Yeah, 24 pills will get me thru four or five weeks anyway." I told her not smiling in the least.

She looked at me for a minute, I could see the calculator going in her head. Then she started smiling, then laughing. She couldn't finish the sale for a few minutes and everybody was looking at us. I never cracked a smile, just looked at her very serious like. Every time she looked at me she would start laughing. I finally told her that I really needed my prescription and that I was in a hurry. That set off another round of giggles.

She finally finished punching on the register and I paid. As I reached for the bag she reached out and patted my hand and started laughing again.

I never figured out what she thought was so funny.
 
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