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RED Wild Hogs, Horses & Deeres
15,608 Posts
The GTtalk team has decided to take all of the things that "You" the members, have listed in (Addicted) Never Thought It Would Be True and put the list together here.

If you would like to add something else, Please do so in the original thread and the Staff will add it here to this list.

We would like to Thank Member "1978Murray" for starting this great thread.
Thank member "johndeereelfman", for coming up with the idea of putting the list all together..
I want to also Thank Member "Michiganmobileman" for going through this list and correcting the grammar.

You Might Be Addicted;

1. Every time you see a Garden Tractor you get all excited.
2. Your wife said it is either her or the Tractors and you pick the Tractors.
3. You start carrying 100 dollar bills around with you. Just in case.
4. You spend more than 2 hours a day on
5. You will do anything for free as long as you can take your Tractor.
6. You will change Garden Tractor motor oil more often than your car oil.
7. You knowingly chose to overpay for Garden Tractor parts and pieces you really want... because you already budgeted to do so!!
8. Your car sits outside the garage during good weather and bad so that your Tractors can be inside warm and dry.
9. You wash your Tractors more than you do your vehicle.
10. You accidently cut yourself, and find that your blood matches the same color as your favorite brand of Tractors.
11. You have a pair of boxer shorts that advertise your favorite brand of Tractor. And actually wear them!
12. Your wife or girlfriend really does think your Tractor is sexy!
13. You'll send your everyday vehicle to the garage to get fixed, but won't trust another soul to work on your Tractor.
14. You'll let your spouse drive your Cadillac or Mercedes, but are ready for divorce if she even thinks about sitting on your Tractor.
15. You take the news of your wife cheating on you better than the news of her scratching your freshly restored Garden Tractor.
16. You get excited over the news of your wife having another baby, not because you're a father again, but because you get to buy another Tractor, so you have something to will to the son or daughter after you're gone.
20. You'd rather have more channels on, than on your television.
21. You take off work early just to work on your Garden Tractor, but last week missed your son's teacher conference due to having to work.
22. You talk to your fellow members in the chat room, more than you talk to your wife at home.
23. You're willing to let your supper burn until you're finished viewing the latest forums.
24. The back window of you truck or car is plastered with decals.
25. You get miserable or have a major addiction withdraw if your internet is down.
26. You're closer to your fellow members (who you never met yet) than your mother-in-law.
27. You think your wife looks better with a shirt and hat on.
28. You'll only make love to your wife, if she wears the shirt and hat.
29. You remember where every member of lives, but can't remember your wedding anniversary.
30. You want to name your new born child. Allis, Massey, John, Gilson, Kubota, etc....
31. Your toolbox is more organized than your underwear drawer.
32. You know the serial number and year of every Tractor you own by heart, but have no idea what your social security number is.
33. You won't throw away that favorite brand of Tractor t-shirt, no matter how torn or dirty it is.
34. The theme from Sanford and Son is whistled by your neighbors, every time they walk past you, while out working in the yard.
35. You want to drive your Tractor in every parade in town.
36. You have a desire to run a chrome straight pipe up through the hood of your wife's car.
37. You practice plowing snow in the middle of summer.
38. You're considering adding a 3 point hitch to back of your pick-up truck, just so you can plow the garden with a little more horsepower and speed.
39. You fertilize your yard four times a week, just so you can have more Tractor seat time, mowing it.
40. The total amount of your Tractors equals half your age.
41. You have so many different brands of Tractors sitting in your yard, that the grandkids think they are giant Easter Eggs.
42. Your security system for the shed consists of a mattress, flashlight, and a rifle.
43. You have each of your Tractors named, and you're the only one who seems to "know" if they are male or female.
44. You have a copy of the latest LAGC magazine sitting on the top of the toilet tank in your bathroom.
45. On the front of your truck is a license plate that reads. "My other vehicle is a Garden Tractor".
46. Everyone can find your house easily, due to the Garden Tractor sitting out front with the mailbox screwed to the hood.
47. You think that, in order to be considered an American, you "must" have a Garden Tractor! What's a green card?
48. You have never waxed your car or truck, but wax your Tractor at least twice a month.
49. You only buy Armor-all, for use on your Tractor tires.
50. You have tried to white letter your Tractor tires.
51. You have more Tractor keys than tools.
52. Nobody ever has to ask you what you want for your Birthday or Christmas, because it's the same ideas as every year before (Tractor parts).
53. You hate rain!!!! (Even in the middle of a drought).
54. Your local Township or Borough sends you a check in the mail, for helping to plow open the neighborhood.
55. You show off to your kids, because you can blow red, blue, green, yellow, or orange boogies, after spray painting.
56. Fellow members drop by on their way through your town just to say hello because they recognized a Tractor from the forum.
57. You stop at a fellow member's house because you recognize a Tractor from the forum.
58. You don't have time to make coffee in the morning, because you want to see what "Kenny" is up to.
59. You stay up all night to post "good morning" to everyone on in the "I beat 'Kenny' on this Morning" thread... and then you go to bed.
60. You reply to threads, just because it's too dark outside to work on Tractors.
61. You can load the trailer blindfolded, for each Tractor show (Just for you "wvbuzzmaster").
62. You can tell the difference between an 8", 10" and 12" Brinly plow without measuring.
63. You know how much horsepower a Tractor has just buy listening to the motor.
64. You have enough parts lying around to build four complete Tractors.
65. You truly believe that trucks should be red, and Tractors should be green.
66. You're more upset about missing the weekend Tractor show, than you are about the wife wrecking the car.
67. You have a Garden Tractor converted to a bar-b-que grill.
68. Your idea as taking the family out on the town consists of a Garden Tractor, and four dump carts hitched behind it.
69. Your Christmas display consists of nine Garden Tractors, a sleigh, and a sorry looking Santa Clause.
70. You can't pass a Tractor dealership, without driving around and looking at the used Tractor section.
71. You already inquired as to how much it will cost you to be buried with your Tractor collection.
72. You have a tattoo of your favorite brand of Garden Tractor, on your shoulder.
73. You spit on the floor when someone mentions the "other" Tractor brand name.
74. You spent more on your Garden Tractor restoration then you did on your wife's engagement ring.
75. You have JD, IH, or AC shaved into the back of your head.
76. Your mailbox has the same color and finish as your favorite brand of Garden Tractor.
77. You are one of the guys trying to jump a ramp with his Garden Tractor, on America's Funniest Videos.
78. You don't know why there isn't a three page fold out section in LAGC magazine, like there is in Playboy.
79. You make a list of the years, serial numbers, and all of your Tractor models, everyday, just to pass the time.
80. You know everybody in your neighborhood, only because of the Tractor he owns.
81. You find it hard to have a conversation with a non-Tractor owner.
82. You go to bed every night smelling like Tractor exhaust.
83. You think grease under your finger nails is attractive.
84. You spray painted your tools to match your Tractor color.
85. The inside of you garage or shed looks like a Tractor museum, or dealership.
86. The Tractor dealership's are calling you for parts, or advise.
87. The only time your wife get's to see you, is when the sun goes down.
88. You're hoping PBS will start a channel on "This Old Tractor".
89. You have more Tractor manuals than you do underwear.
90. You can tear apart a Garden Tractor and have it reassembled in the same amount of time that it takes your wife to do a load of laundry.
91. You have pictures of your Garden Tractors in your wallet, but none of your wife
92. You spend 3 years of your life to find the circumstances of 3 manufacturer's motors on same ET. And find out the head designer is still as feisty as ever.
93. You have a detailed drawing so you can get all your Tractors on the trailer first try to the Tractor show.
94. Your idea of a hunting license is an auction bidding number.
95. You consider yourself an avid hunter, even though you don't own a gun.
96. Your transportation trailer is bigger than your house.
97. Your buddies know you better than your family does.
98. You're willing to sacrifice money for groceries, just so you buy a Tractor part on eBay.
99. You have a separate checking account just for Tractors, which your wife doesn't know about.
100. You wear a sweatshirt or T-shirt that says. "You might be addicted to Garden Tractors, if........
101. When you give up maple syrup for transaxle fluid on your pancakes.
102. When Polyurea Grease smells better than your wife's perfume.
103. When your Tractor gets several sets of new tires long before your own truck or car.
104. When you'd rather watch the game in the garage setting on the Tractor than in the living room recliner.
105. When you start making excuses to friends and family to leave early in order to spend more time with your Tractors.
106. When you'd rather look at the pictures in your Tractor's Service Manual than in a Playboy.
107. When you begin to justify why the lawn needs mowing three times in one afternoon.
108. When the guy behind the parts counter knows you better than your wife.
109. You make three trips to the hardware store every Saturday, just to buy nuts, bolts, and washers, because there always seems to be a bolt you overlooked.
110. Three hours of plowing is better than making love with your wife all night long.
111. If you can't talk about Garden Tractors, then you have nothing to say.
112. You're willing to spend a night in jail, for taking out some guy that had the guts to touch your Tractor.
113. You send friends and family Christmas cards, of you and your family sitting on Tractors.
114. You moved your recliner from in front of the TV, to now sitting in front of the computer.
115. You have a picture of your Tractor collection, hanging above your bed.
116. You only invite your friends over to brag about your Tractor collection.
117. You count how many people are checking out your Tractors, while heading to a Tractor show.
118. While at a Tractor show, you get frustrated when somebody has more Tractors than you.
119. Your motto in life is: He who dies with the most toys, wins!
120. Your family picture album consists of nothing but Garden Tractors.
121. You have a decal on the back window of your truck, of a guy peeing on the competitors brand logo, and flipping the bird.
122. The mud flaps on your truck or RV match that of your favorite brand of Tractors.
123. You have your favorite brand of Tractor, printed on your return address labels.
124. You use all of your vacation days for nothing but Tractor shows.
125. You think Brandon and Kate should have their own star in Hollywood.
126. Your wife's wash line doubles as an outside spray booth.
127. You read the same LAGC magazine five times, and get mad when somebody wants to talk to you before you're through reading the same article twice.
128. You save every issue of LAGC magazine, and get really mad when you can't find it, or find out that your wife threw it out.
129. You map out a route for the Tractor show, but not for the family vacation.
130. You have one of your Garden Tractors as a coffee table in your living room.
131. When you are outside working without them you bring them out to be with you.
132. You forget to buy your kids Christmas gifts because you where buying new tires for your Tractor.
133. Your idea of a good time involves a Tractor, LAGC, and a cup of gas.
134. You have an outhouse by your shed.
135. You will divorce your wife if she doesn't like the color of your Tractor.
136. Someone says to you "not everyone goes riding around on Tractors" and you think everyone is insane for NOT riding Tractors.
137. Your bed room is the same color as your Tractors.
138. Playboy doesn't get you as excited as LAGC.
139. You think we need to make a shirt out of these sayings.
140. 99% of these statements apply to you.
141. You use an empty coffee can as a urinal, and dump the urine next to the shed for weed control.
142. Your wife is mad at you because you just ruined another pair of jeans.
143. is every man's Facebook.
144. You know exactly how much your Tractor collection is worth, but have no idea how much money is in your checking account.
145. Your wife promised you a new pair of sneakers for your Birthday, and you thought she meant Garden Tractor tires.
146. You meet a fellow member in real life and can't recall their real name, so just call them by their screen name.
147. You will make up excuses to buy accessories that you don't need for your Tractor.
148. When you postpone a much needed haircut (again) because you needed the $20 for a Tractor part you found online (again).
149. When you spend over $600 on a cover for a Tractor you plan to pick up next spring.
150. You think a cup holder is a neat accessory maybe and you wouldn't rest a beer on the hood because of the ring it would leave. Hey, am I right?
151. When square footage of your shop exceeds square footage of your home!
152. When you start devising ways to get the Tractor in the living room so you can work on it during the winter.
153. When you start referring to your Tractors as your friends.
154. When you name your new puppy after your favorite Lawn and Garden Tractor brand - Massey, Ferguson, Bolen, Deere etc.
155. While making love to your wife you're thinking of which Tractor to take to the next Plow Day.
156. When you run out of bench space in the shop and use the dining room table to rebuild that new project Kohler.
157. When you find a folding cot, pillows and blankets in the shop you know wasn't there yesterday.
158. When you mumble things like "Bar Tires", "Horse Power", "3 point hitch", and "Plowing" in your sleep.
159. When you give up golf to work on Tractors.
160. You are currently saying "oh shoot, most of these apply to me".
161. If you spent more hours in the chat room then you did at work today.
162. You have a desire to start a new line of fragrance, called "Deisel 5".
163. You steal your wife's oven cleaner to clean greasy Tractor parts.
164. Your favorite position is flat on your back, under a Tractor chassis.
165. When you got your girlfriend all excited by telling her you wanted to get hitched, you actually meant to a dumpcart.
166. You think a Garden Tractor should be like a pair of, always clean, has a nice package, and always under you.
167. You have a bad "CASE" of Garden Tractor collecting = Can't Always Sell Everything!
168. A bad day at electrical solutions or solving is still better than a good day at work.
169. You have more sheds and lean-to's on your property, than you have trees.
170. You have a flag of your favorite Tractor brand hanging from your front porch.
171. You have a bird bath out in front of your house, marked as "Tractor Donations Accepted".
172. You use Garden Tractor steering wheels instead of using horseshoes, at the neighborhood block party.
173. You have at least three different grease guns, and at least four different oil cans. All of which are empty when you need them.
174. You installed a grease zerk on every hinge in the house.
175. You have checks in your checkbook, with Tractor or farm scene backgrounds.
176. You got caught stealing the inner tubes from the public pool.
177. "Joes Outdoor Tractor World" and "Georgia Deere" are your current eBay Tractor parts suppliers.
178. You trust "wvbuzzmaster" for cheap storage advice.
179. You converted a perfectly good snowmobile into a Tractor pulling machine.
180. It takes you all day on Saturday to wash and wax one Garden Tractor.
181. You roto-tilled your next door neighbors' whole yard into a garden, just because you wanted to try out the new tiller, but didn't want to tear up your yard.
182. Its cheaper, in your mind, to buy new fiberglass replacement parts, then to try and fix them yourself, just for the thrill of spending money.
183. You put money away for that really rare Tractor, but no matter how much you put away, you still never have enough.
184. You use Preparation H to heal the burning, of your money burning a hole in your wallet.
185. Your ultimate goal is to have more forums or threads posted on than anybody else.
186. You get whiplash from jerking your head from side to side while driving through the country because you don't want to miss one hiding in the weeds!
187. You never go more than 5 miles from home without ramps in the back of the truck.
188. You reach into your pocket to get that $10 bill (to buy a super gulp) beside the $100 bill, and you pull out the head torque specs, and sequence for the entire Kohler K series.
189. Your Christmas wish list, (that you do for the kids) has one item on it. WHEEL WEIGHTS
190. You can identify more than 2 brands by silhouette, across the lawn, at dusk, behind a shed in the tall grass while driving.
191. You are really incurable if you can name both brand and model.
192. Your first getaway of the year involves Garden Tractors.
193. You are trying to chase down the original sales agreement for your Garden Tractor and you aren't ready to give up yet.
194. When you have 3 Garden Tractor's in your garage that are much better than the one that was half-promised to you thru a grape-vine.
195. When you actually do care if the tires are properly matched and inflated.
196. The mother in law comes into the shop to say hi, and before you know it she's gone, and then you realize that you've finally found the answer,
199. You are late for your mother-in-law's birthday party because you stopped to look at a Garden Tractor sitting alongside the road for sale and had to go back home to get the ramps.
200. When you make arrangements to go get another Garden Tractor, you drive 45 miles in the rain and the owner is a no show.
201. Fellow member's family, even the 2 year old knows who you are, and how to say your name.
202. Waiting for the video of "wvbuzzmaster's" Hog moving project.
203. This thread is the first one you check out, as soon as you log in on
204. Reading this thread is like reading a book entitled "All About Me, and The Things That Make Me Tick".

205. This Addiction listing is helpful in making you laugh, and forgetting about your day at work.
206. Wondering why you want to know someone's real name. The one they are using is just fine.
207. We do all this just to give "olcowhand" a place of honor on George's garage.
208. You stop to see what the neighbor is doing with his mower.
209. You stop to see what a total stranger is fixing on his Garden Tractor and offer to help.
210. You have a bumper sticker that reads "I Brake for Garden Tractors".
211. This list is hanging on the wall in your shop.
212. You tried sneaking your Tractor owner's manual into Church, between the pages of your Bible, and got caught.
213. You colored the pages of your Owner's Manual with colored pencils, just so you remember which part gets painted what color.
214. You go on every free moment you get at work.
215. Your teacher or boss doesn't know your name but he calls you Garden Tractor Talk. This one is true for me my cad teacher doesn't know my name yet.
216. You reply to this thread.
217. You make a huge list of all 200 sayings.
218. When you've memorized every Serial and Engine Spec. Number for every Tractor you own.
219. When strangers pull in your drive and ask "When did your dealership open?".
220. When you wear ties to the office with logos of your favorite brand of Lawn and Garden Tractor.
221. When you receive more Christmas cards from Tractor dealerships than from family members.
222. When you hang used Tractor parts as ornaments on the Christmas tree.
223. When you stir your coffee with a broken piston rod.
224. When you mow the neighbor's yard or plow the neighbor's garden when they're not home.
225. When you've considered legally changing your first name to your favorite brand of Lawn and Garden Tractor Lambert, Massey, Ferguson, Bolen, Ariens, Bantam, Case etc.
226. When you start buying Tractors for your wife because she believes "you" have too many.
227. When you have just as many or more Tractors then your wife has pairs of shoes.
228. You show up to a snowball fight, driving a Garden Tractor with a front mounted snow blower.
229. You have spent time talking with original design team and wondering if they think - Who is this guy?
230. When you can't possible think of anything to do with / to your Garden Tractor's you find yourself just going to look at them.
231. Your wife points out the $400 camera she wants for Christmas and you automatically start tallying up the Tractor parts you can get for the same amount.
232. You have multiple devices with internet capabilities & they all have in the History.
233. You have multiple devices with internet capabilities & they are all logged into at the same time.
234. Your idea of a comfortable Tractor nap is leaning on the steering wheel of your parked Garden Tractor and falling asleep.
235. When you find yourself sneaking out to the garage/shop in the middle of the night to sit on your Tractors.
236. While raining outside you sit on one of your Tractors in the garage/shop and pretend you're driving.
237. When you find it more relaxing lying under your Tractor than on the couch for a nap.
238. When you plug in the battery tenders for your Tractors the shop lights go dim.
239. When you buy a Tractor for your birthday and it's not your birthday for another 6 months.
240. When you start buying Tractors to fix other Tractors to sell in order to buy other Tractors.
241. When you buy additional implements to bolster your excuse to buy another Tractor.
242. When you begin formulating ways to stack Tractors in the garage/shop in order to make room for more Tractors.
243. When the Dentist tells you your wife needs a Root Canal and a Crown, you tell the Dentist to pull it, because you aren't using Tractor Money on a Root Canal.
244. Going to a plow event and being upstaged by "Ryan" and not caring. "Mh81" was a little chagrined
245. You find out that there is a printer in school that can print out 40 inch pictures and you ask your teacher how much it will cost to print out pictures of your Garden Tractors.
246. You skip work because you were too busy plowing.
247. There are 143 replies to this thread.
248. Anytime there is open space in the garage you fill it up with a Tractor.
249. You get Go-Jo hand cleaner in a 55 gallon drum.
250. You tell everyone, that your gray hair is actually paint overspray.
251. You use a wire brush to clean your hands every Sunday morning, before going to Church.
252. When you return home from an auction, your vehicle looks like the Beverly Hillbillies truck.
253. Your oldest kid is in the hospital; because you just ran him over, trying to get to the mailbox first, because your new LAGC magazine is due to arrive any day now.
254. You know at least one guy, by a first name basis, at three different trucking companies throughout the United States.
255. We each have 3 hats, 1 for every day, 1 for how, and 1 put away just for safe keeping.
256. When you have serial plates of dismantled Garden Tractor's and think - darn the b****rds. Reference to Heston movie.
257. When you camp at a Tractor show all weekend in 90 degree weather and don't think twice about it.
258. You use your Garden Tractor as an ATV when hunting.
259. Although you don't want to admit it....Christmas shopping puts a very uneasy feeling in your stomach because it is depleting your Tractor fund a lot faster than expected!
260. Any passenger in your vehicle has to find alternate seating because of the Garden Tractor parts that haven't made it to the garage yet.
261. Your workbench is cluttered with no flat places left so #260 applies. Which came first to Garden Tractors 260 or 261?
262. Wondering how Mr. Spock or John Wayne would look on a Garden Tractor. Arny Palmer did. Been thinking on this for awhile.
263. You buy Operator Manuals for Tractors that you don't even have, but hope you will someday.
264. You have a 1/16th toy replica of each of your Garden Tractors.
265. You want to install an 8 horse Kohler on your son's pedal Tractor.
266. You have enough Tractors to enter each month of the "Feature Tractor Contest".
267. You park the wife's $45,000.00 car outside so you can put your $400.00 Garden Tractor in the garage
268. When the local Tractor dealership calls and asks if you have a part in your stock for a person at their counter.
269. When you clean the shop/garage it takes more than half a day to remove the Tractors first.
270. When you start including your Tractors in family gatherings and celebrations.
271. When you lay carpet in the shop/garage to make your Tractors more comfortable.
272. When you purchase crankcase oil in 50 gallon drums.
273. When you take your Tractors to lunch.
274. When your family movies consist only of Plow Days.
275. When you won't let ANYONE drive your favorite Tractors.
276. When you can hold your own Tractor shows and parades.
277. When you drive a Tractor to get the mail and the box is less than 60 feet away.
278. When you think is acceptable form of Group Talk Therapy. And hell yes it is!
279. When you think Ecclesiastes was written for people like us and of course it was.
280. Your neighbors know something is wrong when you drive your Tractor in the same path for about 4 hrs.
281. For "Johndeereelfman" - When your 11 year old son joins the forum and has nicer Tractors than the guy posting this!!
282. When differential lube discussions seem really important.
283. When your entries in this thread seem less frivolous than the ones in the off topic thread.
284. When your wife is gone, you use her dishwasher for a parts cleaner.
285. When your latest bumper crop of little pigs find new homes so no juggling of Garden Tractor's is necessary.
286. When you try to pad your count so JDELFMAN doesn't have to carry the majority of the load. He did have a very nice foray into serial tags!
287. When you use satellite images to scope out other collectors backyards, to see what they have.
288. You stole your wife's toothbrush so you can clean the nooks and crannies out between the fins of your aluminum heads.
289. Your kids want to take a Garden Tractor into school for show and tell.
290. You think of things you want to work on while sitting on the toilet, and you start writing them down on the toilet paper sheets.
291. You have about 15 different grits of sandpaper in your toolbox right now.
292. Your kids make you cut open the spray paint cans, because they want the glass marbles.
293. You now have one painted hand, because you didn't relieve the pressure before cutting open that spray paint can.
294. You're ultimate goal is to have 300 friends on your profile page, before the end of the year.
295. There are greasy boot tread marks across your living room carpet.
296. You offered to plow a farmer's 50 acre field with your 1 bottom Garden Tractor plow.
297. The ring tone of your cell phone is actually of a Tractor working hard.
298. You answer your phone, by your username...."Hello, 'Johndeerelfman'....."
299. You think it's the end of the world, when your Tractor breaks down, in front of your GardenTractorTalk friends.
300. Reaching 300 on this thread, feels better than completing a perfect restoration!
301. Instead of your son saying "my daddy's stronger than your daddy", he says, "My Garden Tractor can pull more than your Garden Tractor".
302 Thinking that it still would have been cheaper for Casey to use bubble wrap but I would not have gotten this post if he had.
303 You look over at your user status and say -- say what????
304. If you use your Tractor and dump cart to take out the trash, get the Sunday paper or "walk" the dog.
305. If your child's first word is Kohler, Onan or Briggs.
305(a). If you're child's first words are **&%^$, )&*^(, [email protected]%$, Or ******************************!
306. If you have turf tire tracks in your dining room carpet.
307. If you offer to restore the neighbor's Garden Tractor for nothing.
308. If you give old rear rims as flower pots or used valve wind chimes as gifts.
309. If you use GPS to mow your lawn.
310. If the stereo on your mower Tractor is better than the one in your truck.
311. If you have a stack of new Garden Tractor tires next to your recliner because you like the smell.
312. If you've ever given your wife a pair of ear rings you made from that pile of used spark plugs.
313. If you start signing your checks with your user name.
314. If you endlessly try tire combinations until you find the one that makes your Tractor look cool.
315. If your wife waves a checkered flag when you finish mowing the lawn.
316. If, in the shop/garage, you have a revolving display platform with focused spotlights for your favorite Tractor.
317. If the UPS or FedEx driver has ever had dinner at your home more than five times.
318. If your shop/garage floor is a patchwork color of all the major Garden Tractor brands.
319. If you've ever eaten cereal out of an Onan oil pan or used 1/4" fuel line as a straw.
320. If you have more than two cup holders on your Tractors.
321. If you have to take your used mower blades to the scrap yard by the pickup truck load.
322. If you've ever heated your lunch in your Tractor's engine compartment.
323. You get a spot of grease on your t-shirt, and promptly head to the dry cleaner.
324. If someone puts anything on your Tractor you yell at that person.
325. You wake in the morning and your wife is glaring at you wanting to know who "Allis" is. 
326. When you go look at Christmas decorations on your Tractor, and you run out of gas.
327. When a new way to count comes to you - ah one Massey Ferguson, ah two Massey Ferguson...... 
328. Can't wait for more leaves to fall so you can get more seat time cleaning them up. 
329. You just read 197 posts about symptoms of "Garden Tractor-itis"
330. You miss lessons in school so you can check for new posts on your phone.
331. The website is now blocked at school/work.
332. When you keep a set of ramps in the back of your truck, just in case.
333. If you repaint your Tractor every fall because you think you found too many scratches.
334. If you paint your automobile the same color as your favorite Garden Tractor brand.
335. When you're away from home you miss your Tractors more than your wife.
336. If you take your Garden Tractor with you on non Plow Day vacations.
337. If you have more pictures of your Tractors on the fireplace mantle that are larger than pictures of your family.
338. If you hug your Tractors more than your wife.
339. If you gift wrap parts for your Tractors and place them under the Christmas tree.
340. If you need to move Garden Tractor parts from the seat of your truck in order for someone to sit.
341. You tell your wife you had to work late but you were really looking at another Tractor to add to your collection.
342. When you are convinced there is a secret list of prototypes in some pikers vest pocket and you are probably right!!
343. Make friends with one of the mechanics at the John Deere dealer just so you can have first pick.
344. You purposely go out of your way, just to buy a truck that has the same color as your garden Tractor.
345. You enter a state of depression, whenever your Tractor don't start or run right.
346. You plowed a garden for everyone in the neighborhood, whether they wanted it or not, just so you can have more seat time.
347. You're willing to shell out almost $500.00 every four years, for battery replacement, in order to keep your collection running.
348. When complete strangers call you out of the blue, to see if you are interested in buying a Tractor, or if you have a certain part for sale.
349. You take a picture of your collection every year, even though you haven't changed anything on any of them, or added anything new.
350. People know you as the John Deere, Allis Chalmers, Cub Cadet, etc. guy, but don't have the slightest idea what your first or last name is.
351. When people ask you for advice on buying a Tractor, and how big of a Tractor to buy.
352. Your Tractors run better than any of your vehicles.
353. Some of your neighbors avoid you, because they are tired of listening to you talk about Tractors.
354. The only way you can sleep at night, is to think about Tractors.
355. You can't drag your butt out of bed early in the morning, Monday thru Friday, to go to work, but you're up at the crack of dawn on Saturday's and Sunday's, just so you can work on Tractors.
356. You wake up like a shot from a nice relaxing nap because you just thought of something you could do with your GT!

Updated and corrected April 8, 2012, 7:30 AM
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